Agenda Item: A new blog that tracks the news and trends surrounding pop culture and pop culture branding was launched today by the crew over at Agenda. The blog is in the style of a news aggregator and will cover all things trendy. The only subjects that will be out of bounds are Catherine Deneuve’s transportation choices, small annoying dogs and the Welsh. Wait, aren’t those things all the same?
Who is Bibendum? Even if you can’t make it to New York City for the upcoming celebrations of Advertising Week, you can still vote for your favorite advertising tagline/slogan:
A diamond is forever. (DeBeers)
A mind is a terrible thing to waste. (United Negro College Fund)
Be all you can be. (U.S. Army)
Can you hear me now? (Verizon)
Don’’t leave home without it. (American Express)
Fly the friendly skies. (United Airlines)
Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. (U.S. Dept. of Transportation)
Got Milk? (California Milk Processor Board)
It takes a lickin’, but it keeps on tickin’. (Timex)
Just do it. (Nike)
Let your fingers do the walking. (Yellow Pages)
Look Mom, no cavities! (Crest)
Melts in your mouth, not in your hands. (M&M’s)
Reach out and touch someone. (AT&T)
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. (Almond Joy/Mounds)
Tastes great, less filling. (Miller)
The ultimate driving machine. (BMW)
Think Different (Apple)
Time to make the doughnuts. (Dunkin Donuts)
Wassup?! (Budweiser)
We bring good things to life. (General Electric)
We try harder. (Avis)
When you care enough to send the very best. (Hallmark Cards)
Where’s the beef? (Wendy’s)
You deserve a break today! (McDonalds)
You’ve come a long way baby. (Virginia Slims)
And, you can vote for your favorite advertising icon:
California Raisins
Mr. Clean
Coppertone Girl
Tony the Tiger
Charlie the Tuna
Jolly Green Giant
Energizer Bunny
Pillsbury Doughboy
Keebler Elves
Trix Rabbit
AFLAC Duck
McGruff Crime Dog
Ronald McDonald
Speedy Alka-Seltzer
Michelin Man
Morton Salt Girl
Juan Valdez
Smokey Bear
Miss Chiquita
Mr. Peanut
Seat Belt Dummies
Kool-Aid Pitcher
M & M Characters
Merrill-Lynch Bull
Wise Owl
Master Lock
So, you think you know your stuff? Do you know which of those famous icons is over 100 years old and is named Bibendum?
Originally posted by Abnu on our sister site, Wordlab.
Timothy Noah (known satirically as “Tiny”) of Slate, wrote a poorly thought-out lambasting of Dairy Queen’s MooLatte product name back on July 14th, which we debunked the very same day. Tiny’s obsession with Dairy Queen manifested itself again today in an article titled, Tragic MooLate Revisited. Here is the entire article, straight from the horse’s ass:
The Houston Press, an alternative weekly in the New Times chain, agrees that the name of Dairy Queen’s new frozen drink, the MooLatte, sounds so much like “mulatto” as to call into question the mental competence of Dairy Queen’s corporate leadership. (See “The Tragic MooLatte,” July 14.) That the Minneapolis-based company would deliberately allude to the hoary stock character of the “tragic mulatto” in naming a drink of light brown hue is too ghastly a possibility to consider. But could DQ really be so dim as not to notice the similarities between “MooLatte” and “mulatto”? Houston Press staff writers Richard Connelly and Craig Malisow have laid out compelling evidence that it is.
Malisow, working under Connelly’s close direction, placed a call to Dairy Queen spokesman Chad Durasa, whose name appeared on an Aug. 3 press release inviting residents of the Lone Star State to “bring your favorite cow” to Dairy Queen on Aug. 24 to receive a free MooLatte. Malisow’s ensuing Ali G-style interview, as related in the Aug. 12 Houston Press, was so extraordinary that I felt compelled to ask both Connelly and Malisow whether any of it was made up. They assured me it was genuine. Here it is:
Q: This drink, it’s not the “Mulatto”?
A: No. No. No. “Moo,” meaning cow, and then “latte,” meaning —
Q: OK. We were thinking of some other possible items, and I just wanted to run them by you. How about the High Yellow Butterscotch Sundae?
A: I’m not sure if I understand what that is.
Q: Just like a sundae with butterscotch topping, but this would be High Yellow butterscotch.
A: You mean like a higher quality?
Q: Yeah. That’s just something to consider. We were also thinking — the MooLatte has three separate flavors, but if you took eight flavors and combined them, you could call it the Octoroonie.
A: Octoroonie?
Q: Yeah.
A: Actually — wow, that’s actually a pretty good idea.
Q: And then one more here — Sambo’s Extra Dark Triple Chocolate Shake. How’s that grab you?
A: Actually, Dairy Queen doesn’t make shakes. They make Blizzards.
Q: OK — Sambo’s Extra Dark Triple Chocolate Blizzard.
A: What would that be?
Q: I would say you would find the blackest cone you could find and fill it with chocolate ice cream. And go from there.
A: All right. Interesting.
Q: Well, it’s just something to think about.
It’s possible that Dairy Queen has belatedly figured out that MooLatte is a name likely to cause racial offense and has decided that its best public-relations strategy is to play dumb whenever it gets razzed about it. But Durasa’s cluelessness seems genuine to me. As does Noah’s. But as a “hidden message conspiracy aficionado”, can Tiny really be clueless about the hidden messages permeating his own wordly world?
His well known column is called “Chatterbox”, which is most obviously an anagram for “Extra Botch”. A rearrangement of “Slate” produces “Stale”, “Tales” and “Least”. But most damning is the anagram produced by the name “Timothy Noah”: “Tiny Hath Moo”. Coincidence?
If you agree with Chatterbox’s logic, however, then you must also be fuming at McDonald’s. The Egg McMuffin product name is surely more offensive than MooLatte. Why should women of Irish descent sit quietly by while McMuffin insensitively debases their gender-specific genitalia as well as their ethnic origins?
Bill and Cara York own a bait shop in Heeney, Colorado, and they’re in a tussle with the Colorado Department of Transportation over a request to post signs directing tourists to their establishment. The CoDOT refused their request, saying the signs “would endanger the health, safety or welfare of the public.” Why? Well, as the Denver Post pointed out in the story we caged this from, it’s because the store’s name is Master Bait and Tackle. Apparently, the CoDOT is afraid of hair growing on tourist’s palms….
A naming pickle in a similar vein: The Virginia and North Carolina Departments of Transportation don’t seem to mind the existence among their fair hamlets near the Outer Banks, Kill Devil Hills, and Nags Head (for those playing along at home) of Dirty Dick’s Crab House, whose slogan is “I Got My Crabs from Dirty Dick’s.” They continue, “Never been to one of our restaurants?…you obviously don’t know Dick!”
The Dirty Dick’s menu includes the following morsels:
Clappy’s Crab Balls
“My Boy Beau’s” Crab Fingers
She Crab Soup
“Shrimplee D’Licious” Spinach Salad
Dick Taters Fries
The Trinity Platter
I wonder what would happen if you purchased bait for your Dirty Dick’s at Master Bait and Tackle? Well, at least I think we’re ready to try writing for The Simpsons.
Dough nut: Your dreams of an endless summer fortified by the refreshing thought of swigging a bottle of beer that contains an entire ground-up day-old bagel may be feeling an early autumnal chill. As reported in the Marin Independent Journal:
Greg Scott Newcorn, 43, owner of Lotsolox Brewing Co., which gained notoriety for its Bagel Beer brand, was scheduled to appear in Marin Superior Court today on suspicion of embezzling $1 million from financial backers, Twin Cities police said.
He is being held on $1.5 million bail while authorities attempt to contact victims, Deputy District Attorney Linda Witong said. “Bail was set based on the estimated loss,” she said.
Newcorn declined to comment from jail yesterday.
We don’t want to underplay the cultural significance of the possible loss of an entire line of beer with a bagel stuffed in the bottle, but what of future generations who may never know what might have been: Pancake Porter, Latke Lite, Smoked Salmon Stout, Schmaltz Malt Liquor or Borscht Bock?
