Life’s too damn short.

Sitting here in Starbucks, reading the San Francisco Chronicle on my laptop computer, I came across this interesting article about these words on the back of my “tall” cuppa joe.

Stylistically, the quotes are mostly the literary equivalent of Bearista Bears: sentimental, squooshy, with no aphoristic bite. “What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind,” muses singer Shelby Lynne. “Each face in the rainbow of colors that populate our world is precious and special,” observes civil rights leader Morris Dees. OK, sorry, Bearista Bears — even you could come up with pithier quotes than those.

Still, Starbucks’ customers are actually reading the cups, and in the great coffeehouse tradition of conversation and debate, threatening boycotts. In August, a cup featuring novelist Armistead Maupin’s reflection that “(his) only regret about being gay is that (he) repressed it for so long” drew the wrath of the Concerned Women for America. Because the cup was too nice to gay people, the group suggested, it was offensive to conservatives and people of faith. A few weeks later, employees at a campus Starbucks at Baylor University, a predominantly Baptist school, purged hundreds of the Maupin cups.

The article goes on to talk about how Starbucks plans to address these concerns by adding the inspiration of Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life: “You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense …” But still, the boycotts continue. As of Tuesday, Starbucks will no longer be served at BJU.