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Looking for just the right invective to hurl at someone? Give old
François Rabelais a go. Specifically, Sir Thomas Urquhart’s 1653 translation of Rabelais’ classic satirical adventure,
Gargantua and Pantagruel (written 1532-1542). Here's a sample:
The bun-sellers or cake-makers were in nothing inclinable to their request; but, which was worse, did injure them most outrageously, called them prattling gabblers, lickorous gluttons, freckled bittors, mangy rascals, shite-a-bed scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows, slabberdegullion druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, turdy gut, shitten shepherds, and other suchlike defamatory epithets; saying further, that it was not for them to eat of these dainty cakes, but might very well content themselves with the coarse unranged bread, or to eat of the great brown household loaf.
A shout out to
World Wide Words for scratching at this
slubberdegullion of the English language.
.. but they still can’t name to save their ass.
However, that is a nice pic of Anthony Shore on the hompage. And as hard as it is to believe ladies, he is straight and available (Post-ops considered).
Anth’s interests include phlebotomy, Harry Potter and calf massages (we forgot to ask which definition of “calf” he intended).
If in a vulnerable moment you do find yourself in bed with Landor on your next naming project, be safe, use a mental dam.
Should you wake up and realize you’ve been badly screwed by a "full service
agency”, there is always Plan B or Plan B.
But for those looking for a really spectacular hump, there is no substitute for Plan A.
Via today’s New York Times:
The Web’s last unconquered frontier – the airplane – is about to be invaded yet again.
This spring, Aircell, a 16-year-old company that sells air to ground telecommunications equipment to airlines, will launch a broadband wireless service for twitchy airplane passengers who need their Internet fix at 40,000 feet.
Two years ago, Aircell, based in Itasca, Ill., and Louisville, Colo., paid $31 million to the federal government for a batch of air-to-ground spectrum that was originally used for in-flight seat-back phones –- an expensive service that passengers largely ignored.
Aircell has since built 92 EVDO cell sites across the United States and pointed them at the sky, where they will bring 3.1-megabit-per-second Internet access to airplanes traveling thousands of feet above the ground at hundreds of miles per hour. The company’s on-board technology will magnify that signal and split it into separate Wi-Fi streams, offering speeds equivalent to a home D.S.L. connection to any passenger who wants to log on with his or her wireless device.
Aircell will start the service, called GoGo, with American Airlines this spring and then expand it with Virgin America over the summer.
If GoGo gets off the ground, it will fulfill the long-held promise of bringing Internet access to airplane passengers. Boeing tried it, somewhat disastrously, earlier this decade with its Connexion in-flight satellite service. Boeing signed up carriers such as Lufthansa, Japan Airlines and Singapore Airlines but the effort was eventually undone by belt-tightening after 9/11. The aircraft maker had to write off $320 million on what was widely reported to be a $1 billion investment.
Jack Blumenstein, Aircell’s chief executive, said GoGo is different in several ways. Airplanes can be retrofitted with the technology overnight, and the in-flight servers and antennas weigh less than 50 pounds, considerably less than Boeing’s bulky satellite receivers. Broadband wireless technology is now faster overall as well, while the array of Wi-Fi equipped consumer devices — from iPhones to laptops — has blossomed.
GoGo’s pricing plans will vary, but access during a cross-country flight should cost around $13. GoGo will also serve up-on-demand television and films from on-board, TiVo-like servers.
Mr. Blumenstein expects other airlines to come on board quickly. “Passengers want freedom and the ability to get back in control of their life and be productive,” he said. “All the data suggests passengers will change planes if one airline offers it and another doesn’t. The airlines will fight to the death over a 1 percent market share shift,” he said.
Readers, please discuss. This is clearly inevitable. Is anyone bothered that the last environment for unwired thinking and old-media-reading is about to be tethered to the grid? I’m ambivalent. Of course, I’ll also be among the first to log on.
Did we mention Gogo was named by Igor? Right, that’s what is most important here.
[ More posts about Aircell | More blogs about Aircell ] [ More posts about Gogo | More blogs about Gogo ]
Eliot Spitzer has got to be one of the biggest boobs in history.
The misnamed “From on High” website makes fun of my friend Sue Daniels’, who was a peace activist and advocate for the poor, and who had been murdered shortly before the asshat that “writes” FOH posted this:
I have been following the story of the murder of Sue Daniels since it hit the local papers in November. The titillating story surrounding her relationship with the man who stalked and killed her, Niklan Jones-Lezama (who subsequently committed suicide himself), was only part of the saga that attracted me to her. Sue Daniels was a political activist. She was also a research associate at Virginia Tech, working on a PHD in biology.
I would categorize her political activities as being on the far left; as far left as one can recede before picking up a weapon and calling for the revolution of the proletariat. The “power to the people” kind of crowd. Here is what was written about her “activism” prior to her reporting to federal prison in November after having been found guilty of trespassing on government property (at Ft. Benning) during a protest of America’s involvement in Central and South America…
Sue and I lived together for four amazing years. There’s more, if you can stomach it, here.
The folks over at Slate have been having some fun with readers of their Trailhead campaign blog trying to come up with a name that Ben & Jerry’s might use to celebrate Senator Barack Obama’s win of the Democratic primary in the ice cream company’s home state of Vermont.
While thinking up names like Peanut Butter Barackle, Obamana Split, and Barackadamia Nut can be fun, the would-be-namers soon learned that choosing a name that works in all markets can be more difficult than first thought, after they chose the winner Yes, Pecan!
Trailhead reader Gerrit H. mocked up the brilliant pint of ice cream you see above. Tremendous job all around, especially on the blue, red, and white scheme.
Also, several readers have e-mailed telling us that our East Coast bias is on display by thinking “Yes, Pecan!” rhymes with “Yes, We Can!” Down South, pecans are not pronounced pe-CAN, but puh-CAHN, according to Trailhead devotees (Trailheaders? Trailheadians? Trailheads?). Considering Obama adamantly believes in one America, we think he might be distressed by this development. As a result, we’re looking for an alternate flavor for Ben & Jerry’s stores below the Mason-Dixon. The front-runners are currently “Barackadamia Nut” and “Neopolitician.” Got anything better? Let us know.
Meanwhile, back at the headquarters of the Republican National Committee, naming operatives have been busy registering domain names. According to an article in the New York Times, “Speculators have registered nearly 2,000 domain names related to presidential candidates as of last week. Names related to Mrs. Clinton’s candidacy made up over half of the registrations, followed by Mr. Obama with 635 and Mr. McCain with 269.” See here the list of domain names registered by the R.N.C. or on servers used by the committee.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
When you do succeed, you’re gonna need a name for your invention.
And if, being a scientist, you’re not good at inventing names, you might just name your invention after the number of times you tried, like say, WD-40 or Formula 409.
Formula 409 didn’t get it’s name from the area code where it was developed. And it’s not the birth date of the creator’s daughter. Formula 409 got its name from perseverance. From the desire of two young scientists in Detroit to create the ultimate cleaner. A cleaner powerful enough to cut through grease and dirt on contact.
A cleaner like that doesn’t get created on the first try. And in the eyes of these two persistent scientists, it doesn’t get created on the 101st, 201st, 301st or 401st try either. Only when they had created their 409th formula were these two young men satisfied that they had created the ultimate cleaner. Formula 409. Kitchen messes don’t stand a chance.
Some names come easier.
In 1953, a fledgling company called Rocket Chemical Company and its staff of three set out to create a line of rust-prevention solvents and degreasers for use in the aerospace industry, in a small lab in San Diego, California.
It took them 40 attempts to get the water displacing formula worked out. But they must have been really good, because the original secret formula for WD-40—which stands for Water Displacement perfected on the 40th try—is still in use today.
We should have blogged about these names on National Inventors Day.
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