What would God eat for breakfast?

We’re guessing Froot Loops. Or perhaps a Swanson Hungry-Man All Day Breakfast, unless God worries about eating too much fat. Probably not. We’ll go with the Hungry Man.

One breakfast food with God on its marketing team is Ezekiel 4:9. The biblical quote referenced by the product name is:

“Take also unto thee Wheat and Barley and Beans and Lentils and Millet and Spelt and put them in one vessel and make bread of it.”

Sounds perfectly reasonable for a health food brand. What they don’t say is that Ezekiel has some further breakfast preparation tips. Those of you with little time to make the bus to work in the morning may want to skip this last step in the recipe, from Ezekiel 4:12:

“And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.”

Sounds like Devil’s food to us. But Zeke here isn’t the first national brand to be changing money in the temple. Chevrolet has had God shilling for them for years.