Another Brick at The Wall

Igor’s Senior Brand Strategist Andy Valvur is pictured below in China. He is on a quest to find a Sifu who will help refine his already well-honed skills in The Immobile Arts. Here he takes a lesson from The Great Wall.

Additionally, Andy is the organizer of The Global Scavenger Hunt, a convoluted tax dodge.

Via The San Francisco Examiner:

The organizer of The Global Scavenger Hunt, a race around the world that begins in San Francisco on Friday, is tight-lipped about the countries and challenges that await 15 two-person teams raising money for charity during the three-week competition. Valvur, 53, won a similar race in 1989. He works as a branding manager in San Francisco and writes for CNN’s humor blog, Capitol Punishment.

After winning the 1989 race, why did you decide to stay involved?
Who is not going to enjoy trips around the world? I also like watching people come back in and say, “Did you see? Did you go there?” when they discover something new. The thrill of discovery that you turned somebody on to something new is really cool.

How is The Global Scavenger Hunt different from “The Amazing Race”?
In “The Amazing Race,” you have to get from one country to another and have to scramble to the airport. This doesn’t have that craziness — it’s pretty fast-paced, but the challenges start and end in the same city — then we all travel together to the next location.

What traits make for winners in The Global Scavenger Hunt? You got to be quick on your feet, and you have to be able to look at a town and figure out the local transportation system really quick. It’s a lot of map reading and time management.

Why did you think this race should raise money for charities instead of offering a big monetary prize to winners? Instead of ugly Americans running around the world, you’re traveling and at the same time giving a little bit back. We’ve had such a bad reputation in the world — it’s a tiny measure of repairing some of the damage.

And he has done a lot of damage.

Give the ladies what they want

The marketing geniuses at Neutrogena, realizing how crowded the women’s skin care product sector is, have been selling vibrators. But not just any vibrator, a vibrator that a woman can, with head held high, take through airport security, buy at the drugstore, and leave in plain sight for the kids to find. Brilliant.

It’s the Neutrogena Wave, a sex toy with plausible deniability built-in.

Here’s to wiggle room:

Top secret Landor process document revealed

landor process

“Insert the proprietary Landor Naming Process Tool into the anal canal and twist until it grabs the membrane. Continue twisting another half turn, then steadily pull the proprietary Landor Naming Process Tool out of the canal. Extract 10 inches of membrane, tie the membrane off and cut.”

As with any process, the only true measure of success is what comes out the other end.

Blandor Says Blandor the Imponderable: “Oh deer! Perhaps I should butt out….No! My auricular has been opened, laid bare for all to observe! This time, no amount of blandiloquence will assuage this insolent corporate sabotage! And furthermore, we use a much larger mammal in our current work”

Building Equity in a Name

We’ve name a lot of buildings here at Igor: Wynn Las Vegas, Aria Resort, The Signature at MGM, The Address in Dubai, The Wit in Chicago. Here’s a well written piece on the naming of high rise buildings in Manhattan. Via the NY Times:

ONE afternoon over the summer, eight people gathered in an office at the Corcoran Group to brainstorm names for a 29-unit condominium scheduled for completion in mid-2012.

To get the ball rolling, Stephen Glascock, the president of the project’s developer, Anbau Enterprises, reminded the assembled team of sales agents and marketing consultants that the building, soon to rise on West 23rd Street off the Avenue of the Americas, would be in a “a fun location” near Chelsea and the High Line.

“Nexus,” suggested one attendee. “Crossroads,” suggested another.

Not quite.

The building will be energy-efficient, Mr. Glascock continued. It will have fresh filtered air and insulation that dampens noise. His wrap-up: “It’s a good building. It’s a positive participant in the community.”

“It’s a good citizen,” piped up Amy Frankel, a managing partner of the branding agency IF Studio.

“Citizen?”

“Citizen!”

“We all looked at each other and said, ‘What a great name,’ ” Mr. Glascock recollected. “Let’s call the building Citizen.”

A landmark prewar facade or the latest in high-end amenities may be at the top of a buyer’s must-have list, but a stirring or lyrical name can be a powerful selling tool, too. A clunker, on the other hand, can be at best a puzzle, at worst a punch line.

“It’s Branding 101,” said Allen P. Adamson, a managing director of Landor, a corporate identity consultant. “A name tells a story, and a good name can tell a very strong story.”

Read the rest of the article

Branding versus Advertising

We are often asked what the difference between branding and advertising is, as our work of positioning and naming companies and products is an essential component of branding.

Branding is demonstrating, advertising is explaining. What you fail to demonstrate you are forced to explain. In business, as in all aspects of life, it is more powerful and effective to demonstrate rather than to explain.

Advertising is shouting, branding is a whisper. When you whisper, people lean forward.

Here is a perfect example, while technically in the form of an ad, this is branding. No explanation, just demonstration

Activia: A mystery wrapped in an enema

Activia yogurt’s sales pitch:

Why should I Switch to Activia? If you have ever suffered from even occasional irregularity, then you should try Activia. Only delicious Activia has the exclusive culture Bifidus Regularis and is clinically proven to help with slow intestinal transit when eaten every day for two weeks, as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.

That’s the pitch; Activa relieves constipation in only two weeks…only two weeks… I’ll pass. Give me the Fleet with real blueberries, An Enema of the People. (sorry Henrik).

Health Savings Account HSA

Spoon Me

Via Dom Nozzi:

Ben & Jerry created “Yes Pecan!” ice cream flavor for Obama.
They then asked people to fill in the blank for the following:

For George W. they created “_________”.

Here are some of their favorite responses:

– Grape Depression
– Abu Grape
– Cluster Fudge
– Nut’n Accomplished
– Iraqi Road
– Chock ‘n Awe
– WireTapioca
– Impeach Cobbler
– Guantanmallow
– imPeachmint
– Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker… Swirl
– Heck of a Job, Brownie!
– Neocon Politan
– RockyRoad to Fascism
– The Reese’s-cession
– Cookie D’oh!
– The Housing Crunch
– Nougalar Proliferation
– Death by Chocolate… and Torture
– Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
– Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
– “You’re Shitting In My Mouth And Calling It A” Sundae
– Credit Crunch
– Mission Pecanplished
– Country Pumpkin
– Chunky Monkey in Chief
– George Bush Doesn’t Care About Dark Chocolate
– WMDelicious
– Chocolate Chimp
– Bloody Sundae
– Caramel Preemptive Stripe
– I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands…with nuts

But who is Dom Nozzi? If it is true that you can judge a man by the company he keeps, then Dom can be summed up by this list of his friends as of 1966.

Of course, you may just want to judge him based on the fact that he maintains a list of his friends from kindergarten.

He is obviously quite mad.

Igor’s latest naming work, Whoop, launches.

Formally called “Xosphere”, they came to us for a re-name. From the Whoop site:

Whoop makes it easy for every company, agency or individual to create, publish and share rich mobile content to almost every mobile device. Not just text, but pictures, videos and, well, everything imaginable for mobile entertainment, marketing, communications, commerce and social networking. With Whoop, you can share your stuff with more than 3.5 billion phones in every country on the planet.

Whoop. Everything mobile.

Did we mention we named Whoop? O.K., we are done here.

Tastee Freez

Trying to beat the summer heat, but can’t bring yourself to choke down another cup of soft serve? Fear not, these intrepid entrepreneurs are at your rescue:

We don’t know whose brain bastard this ad campaign is, but with classic copy such as, “a neat and convenient way to store your poop for the trip home”, our best guess would be Ogilvy. Nigel?

Unattended poop” indeed.

Save Me From My Missouri

Can you spot the irony in the rationale behind Missouri’s new tourism campaign? Via OzarkFirst.com:

(Jefferson City, MO) — Gas prices aren’t getting any cheaper- so Missouri Gov. Matt Blunt is suggesting you stay closer to home for your next vacation.

Blunt and his family have planned a three-day trip through the state, hoping to set an example with what he is calling a “Show-Me Tourism Tour.”

The Blunts are traveling in an RV through 12 state parks and historic sites – starting at the Dillar Mill historic site in Davisville and ending at the Lewis and Clark Trailhead Monument in Jefferson City.