Tips for picking a brain:

1. Do not pick if the skin is too green–it’s not ripe yet.

2. The brain should be viscous and phlegmatic, yet hold up to a good thumping. Not too firm, not too soft.

3. The end that was twisted from the brain stem should be pliable when you poke your thumb through the outer membrane. If you can’t break the membrane with your fingernail, the brain was picked prematurely.

4. Smell is the most reliable indicator of freshness.

5. Have fun with it, but keep it platonic.

[ More posts about company names ]

1. IP.com
2. USPTO
3. WIPO
4. Google Patents
5. Patents.com
6. FreePatentsOnline
7. Patent Lens
8. Faqs.org
9. FreshPatents.com
10. PatentStorm
11. Patent Genius
12. GetThePatent.com

Uh oh. Seems like Cisco Systems runs a big chuck of the Internet on some thing called iOS. It’s deja vu all over again: you may recall back in 2007 when the iPhone was announced that Cisco owned the trademark for the name “iPhone”. Once again, Apple rolls out the strategy of “name it what we want, get legal to make it happen later”. Cool. If every company operated like this, it would make the job of naming companies much, much easier. And put more lawyers to work, recharging our economy in the process.

UPDATE: Kudos to Apple for making a legal deal with Cisco this time before launching the product. Says Cisco: “Cisco has agreed to license the iOS trademark to Apple for use as the name of Apple’s operating system for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad.  The license is for use of the trademark only and not for any technology.”

Geek.com picks up the story:

It’s everything the iPad was meant to be, according to German-based Neofonie GmbH that designed the device. WePad sports a large 11.6-inch screen and is fitted with a webcam and two USB ports, the two features sadly missing from Apple’s device. WePad runs Intel’s chip and a Linux software that supports both Flash content and Android apps. It’ll come preloaded with an open-sourced office productivity suite, too.

In case you’re wondering, yes – WePad will also do digital magazines. Neofonie teamed up with Europe’s largest magazine publisher Gruner+Jahr that promised to bring its flagship magazine Stern on the WePad.

It gets even better, as the company puts its indelible spin in the power of “We” (perhaps Nintendo might like to jump in here and Wii all over Neofonie as well), which is just so much more awesome than “I” (or “i”):

And if all of that wasn’t enough, Neofonie is dragging the Cupertino rival through the mud with its unapologetic marketing talk. For example, here’s how they defend the name choice:

Some people seem to think life is all about the I, and the Me, Me, Me. We beg to differ. To us, the power of many beats the power of one.

“Some people”, indeed. Unfortunately for Neofonie, “some people” also have an army of lawyers standing by to slice the “Pad” right off of their “We”. So if Apple sucessfully keeps them from using “Pad”, and Nintendo jumps in and says they can’t use “We”, they might be left with WePad, or eeP, at least until Asus’s legal eagles claim a risk of confusion with their Eee PC, and take away their “e”.

I think this padacious upstart should just go with truth in advertising, and call it the Neofonie. Ask any “Expert, texpert”. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all Neofonie… And here are some major recently-granted Apple iPad patents that Neofonie would do well not to tread on:

• Methods and apparatuses for operating a portable device based on an accelerometer (3.30.10)
• Multipoint touchscreen (2.16.10)
• Electronic device having display and surrounding touch sensitive bezel for user interface and control (2.2.10)
• User interface gestures (2.2.10)
• Proximity detector in handheld device (1.26.10)
• Automatic detection of channel bandwidth (1.26.10)
• Systems and methods for color managing content elements on a display device (1.26.10)
• Identifying contacts on a touch surface (11.17.09)

More: Here are 82,212 ‘tablet computer’ related patents for your viewing pleasure.

The new Wordlab is a full-fledged social network for naming and wordplay, collaboration and creative thinking. As such it is structured a bit differently than what you are used to if you were a user of the old Wordlab and its Wordboard forum, but the opportunities for interaction and collaboration are much greater and more powerful.

Check it out, sign up for a free membership, and join in the fun, either as someone looking for naming help, someone who can lend suggestions and advice to other users, or both.

The Dunder Mifflin logo sports an infinity symbol

Xfinity is meant to signal Comcast’s foray into the future of high tech possibilities, while at Dunder Mifflin, “Infinity” is the name of the internal initiative to bring technology to the failing paper company.

Why would the comedy writers of “The Office” chose the name “Dunder Mifflin Infinity” for the high tech effort? Because it is silly, obvious, pitiful and ridiculous, in keeping with ambiance of the show.

The name was such a hit that DunderMifflinInfinity.com is the show’s official fansite.

In the second episode of the fourth season titled “Dunder Mifflin Infinity”, regional manager Michael Scott best summed up the idea of “Infinity” (or Xfinity, for that matter):

“Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me, the choice is easy.”

“Comcast Xfinity. The possibilities are mindless”

Via Gizmodo:

If you thought a boogie board was a salt-water vessel that lets you skim the waves, think again. Improv Electronics’ Boogie Board is a pressure-sensitive tablet that uses a watch battery for power. It’s like a digital blackboard!

The Reflex LCD doesn’t need any power to keep the scribbles and drawings on the screen, with the watch battery only being put into use when the screen is erased. The watch battery will last for 50,000 erases, which makes the $29.97 board cost 15 times less for each erase than a normal sheet of paper. It’s ideal for kids, or perhaps artists who care about the long-term saving associated with the Boogie Board.

Tips for picking a brain:

1. Do not pick if the skin is too green–it’s not ripe yet.

2. The brain should be viscous and phlegmatic, yet hold up to a good thumping. Not too firm, not too soft.

3. The end that was twisted from the brain stem should be pliable when you poke your thumb through the outer membrane. If you can’t break the membrane with your fingernail, the brain was picked prematurely.

4. Smell is the most reliable indicator of freshness.

5. Have fun with it, but keep it platonic.

Having nothing better to do, we responded. The naming guide is now available in two different lengths: soul-crushing (115 pages) and moderately-irritating (26 pages).

Either version of the naming guide can be downloaded here.

Download the app today at ComputerTan.com

It’s a bad time for A-list biotech companies.

From Anesiva to Avigen, a number of biotech companies with names starting with an “a” and including a “v” are facing tough times. So is it the name — or the companies — that are not so sweet?

Avigen Inc. of Alameda will liquidate after a five-month war of words with its largest shareholders. Anesiva Inc. of South San Francisco, which on March 25 said it has enough cash to last into April, hopes to gross $3 million in a rights offering. And Avicena Group Inc. of Palo Alto, while holding on with $1 million raised from foreign investors last fall, was kicked off the NASDAQ bulletin board back in September and hasn’t filed a financial statement with the SEC since May 2008.

“So many biotechs started with that (“a”) pattern, so a disproportionate number are failing now because there are more of them,” said Jay Jurisich, creative director and cofounder of Igor Inc., a San Francisco naming and branding agency.

You can read the rest of the article here.

See you there!